AVATAR: Revisions
by America's Roast Beef Yes Sir
Summary: Read some of the changes I made into the Avatar script...
1. Chapter 1

**AVATAR: Revisions**

_[AN: Avatar: Revisions is about my changes in the Avatar series. I revise some parts in the show that I was disgruntled/bothered with and collect them into one fanfiction. It may not amuse you, it may not make you laugh, but I need a laugh once in a while, and why not share it with you?_

_So, here it is. AVATAR: Revisions._

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar: The Last Airbender. This fanfic is a disgrace to the cast and crew and is only for the probable amusement I may get out of my readers.**_

_**Book 2, Chapter 1: The Avatar State :: Conversation About the Tides Between the Captain and Azula**_

**Captain:** _(the captain rushes over to Azula after her men exit the deck) _Princess, I'm afraid the tides will not allow us to bring the ship in to port before nightfall.

**Azula: **I'm sorry, Captain, but I do not know much about the tides. Can you explain something to me?

**Captain: **The tides are rough and cannot allow us to port.

**Azula: **Do the tides command this ship?

**Captain: **Uh, I don't understand...

**Azula: **You said the tides won't "allow" us to bring the ship in. Do the tides command this ship?

**Captain: **I'm referring to how the tides are roughing it out there. Are you not familiar with the art of personification? And in some sort of ways, yes, the tides do command this ship.

**Azula: **And if I were to have you thrown overboard, would the tides think twice about smashing you against the rocky shore?

**Captain: **I don't see why it can't. Nature is hard to predict.

**Azula:** Well then, try to worry less about the tides and worry more about me.

**Captain: **Screw that.

**Azula: **What did you say?

**Captain: **Yes, Princess. I will pull us in immediately. _(captain walks away)_ And I'll make sure the tides will smash you instead.

**_Book 2, Chapter 17 : Lake Laogai :: Zuko Lets Go of the Blue Spirit_**

_(Iroh spots the Blue Spirit/Zuko at Appa's holding cell.)_

**Blue Spirit: **Uncle?

**Iroh:** So, the Blue Spirit. I wonder who could be behind that mask?

**Zuko:** What are you doing here?

**Iroh:** I was just about to ask you the same thing. What do you plan to do now that you have found the Avatar's bison? Keep it locked in our new apartment? Should I go put on a pot of tea for him?

**Zuko:** That would be a good idea. He seems to be a little thirsty.

**Iroh:** _**AND THEN WHAT???!!!!!!**_

**Zuko:** _(gets so startled that he drops his broadswords) _Holy shit!

**Iroh:** You never think these things through!

**Zuko: **All I wanted was some tea for the bison!

**Iroh: **This is exactly what happened when you captured the Avatar at the North Pole!

**Zuko: **But he didn't want tea!

**Iroh: **You had him, and then you had no where to go!

**Zuko:** Must you point that out?

**Iroh:** _(shouting angrily)_ Yes!! If his friends hadn't found you, you would have frozen to death!

**Zuko:** But... yeah, you got me there...

**Iroh:** Is it your own destiny? Or is it a destiny someone else has tried to force on you?

**Zuko:** Okay, wait a minute. How did we get from giving Appa some tea to destiny?

**Iroh:** I'm _begging _you Prince Zuko! It's time for you to look inward, and begin asking yourself the big questions. Who are you? And what do _you_ want?

**Zuko:** I already told you what I want! Tea!

**_Book 2, Chapter 8: The Chase :: Katara vs. Toph_**

**Katara**: So, Toph, usually when setting up camp we try to divide up the work.

**Toph**: Hey, don't worry about me, I'm good to go.

**Katara**: Well, actually, what I'm trying to say is, uh, some of us might fetch water while someone else might set up the fire pit or put up the tent. Even Momo does his fair share.

**Toph**: Katara, I'm fine. I can carry my own weight. I don't need a fire, I've already collected my own food, and look. My tent's all set up.

**Katara**: Well, that's great for you, but we still need to finish.

**Toph**: I don't understand. What's the problem here?

**Katara**: Never mind.

-

A couple hours later...

**Katara:** Hey, Toph. I just wanted to apologize for earlier today. We've all been stressed out and getting on each others nerves, so, I hope you understand.

**Toph:** Yeah, you do seem pretty tired.

**Katara:** I meant ALL of us.

**Toph:** Hey, you're the one that's tired. I'm okay. I've been sleeping whenever I got the chance.

**Katara:** Maybe if you thought about others, we'd be able to stay the same. But all you've been thinking about was carrying your own weight. Gee, it sounds a little hard by what I see on you...

**Toph:** What is THAT supposed to mean?

**Katara:** Oh, nothing, I just thought if you did some excercise from time to time, you wouldn't look so bulgy.

**Toph:** EXCUSE me? I'm the one that's been running around and saving everybody's butt all the time.

**Katara:** And you could learn a thing or two about shaping those glutes...

**Toph:** WHAT?!

-

Well, that's it for now. Just let me know if you want me to continue...


	2. Chapter 2

_Original disclaimer posted on Chapter One..._

_-_

**_Book 2, Chapter 13: The Drill :: General Sung and the Gang Are Thinking of Ideas for Shutting Down the Drill_**

**General Sung:** We're doomed!

**Sokka:** _(slaps general hard on the face)_ Get a hold of yourself man!

**General Sung:** You're right, I'm sorry.

**Toph:** Maybe you'd like the Avatar's help now?

**General Sung: **Yes, please.

**Aang:** The question is, how are we gonna stop that thing?

**Sokka:** _(everyone looks at Sokka)_ Why are you all looking at me?

**Aang:** You're the idea guy.

**Sokka:** So I'm the only one who can ever come up with a plan? That's a lot of pressure.

**General Sung:** _(slaps Sokka on the face)_

**Sokka:** Hey, what was that for?

**General Sung:** That's payback, _bitch_!

**_Book 2, Chapter 19: The Guru :: Katara and the Generals Discuss Invasion Plans..._**

**General How**: General Fong's base will serve as the launching point of the attack. In exactly two months, the Army and Navy will invade the Fire Nation on The Day of Black Sun.

_( There is a battle layout in front of them. Momo suddenly pounces on the fire nation marker, scattering the other pieces.)_

**Katara**: Or we could send in Momo to do some damage. _(Katara laughs)_

**General How:** You think that's funny?

**Katara:** _(silent)_

**General How:** You think it's funny for a vermin to pounce on the layout and screw up a battle plan that took almost a week to organize?

**Katara:** Well, when you put it that way-

**General How:** _(snaps)_ Hey! Let me finish talking!

**Katara:** _(frightened)_

**General How:** _(rough voice)_ You won't last long without our help. You'll die in a matter of weeks. I can see it: you're body will be decaying as worms start going in and out of your eye sockets while the vultures pick you clean... all because of a useless lemur that ruined the most important battle plan which will be heard about for centuries to come. And all you can say is, _(uses a retarded-sounding voice)_ "Or, we can send Momo in for some damage!" Ha ha, I'm laughing my boots off, you stupid piece of sleet.

Katara:_ (freaked out)_

_**Book 2, Chapter 19: The Guru :: Aang's First Chakra (He faces the fire lord)**_

**Guru Pathik**: _(voice-over)_ Aang, your vision is not real. You are concerned for your survival, but you must surrender those fears. Let your fears flow down the creek.

_(Aang slowly straightens and relaxes. In his mind, he calmly sits within the ring of flame, facing Ozai.)_

Ozai: Hey, man.

Aang: Uh... hi?

Ozai: I heard that people have been starting rumors about me. You know, the whole comet thing... well, it's not true.

Aang: Really? But everyone is saying that it's true!

Ozai: And you know the "day of black sun" thing? Yeah, not true.

Aang: (amazed) Wow.

Ozai: Nothing more powerful than rumors, dude. That's a life lesson. Oh, by the way, there actually isn't a war.

**_Book 2, Chapter 2: The Cave of Two Lovers :: The Gang and the Nomads are on their way to the cave_**

**Sokka:** How far are we from the tunnel?

**Chong** Actually, it's not just one tunnel. The lovers didn't want anyone to find out about their love, so they built a whole labyrinth.

**Sokka:** Labyrinth?!

**Chong** I'm sure we'll figure it out.

**Lily:** All you need to do is trust in love. According to the curse.

**Sokka:** Curse?!

**Chong:** Yeah. If we don't escape the tunnel, we will be trapped for all eternity.

**Sokka:** Eternity?!

**Lily:** Yup. Plus, there is no food, so we will practically be doomed.

**Sokka:** Doomed?!

**Chong:** Okay, if you keep doing that, I'm gonna cave your face in.

**Sokka:** Cave?!

**Chong:** I mean it, stop.

**Sokka:** Stop?!

**Chong:** Sokka, I'm begging you. I'm gonna do it.

**Sokka:** It?!

**Chong:** Get ready to feel pain.

**Sokka:** Pain?!

**Chong:** _(punches Sokka in the nose, forcing a nose bleed)_

**Sokka:** Blood?!

**_Book 2, Chapter 2: The Cave of Two Lovers :: Zuko and Iroh Start Making Up Stuff About Each Other When they Meet Song_**

**Song:** You two must not be from around here. We know better than to touch the white jade, much less make it into tea and drink it.

**Iroh:** Heh heh heh. Whoops!

**Song:** So where are you traveling from?

**Zuko: **Yes, we're travelers.

**Song:** Do you have names?

**Zuko:** Names? Of course we have names. I'm Lee. And this is my uncle, uh, Mushi.

**Iroh:** _(mad)_ Yes, my nephew was named after his father, so we just call him Junior.

**Zuko:** _(also mad)_ Mushi is a little koo-koo up there in his noggin, so expect a little more mistakes coming from him.

**Iroh:** Junior wets the bed sometimes, so if you offer us to stay with you, don't go anywhere near his cot. It will most likely be soaked!

**Zuko:** Mushi eats a little too much, so double the town's food supply.

**Iroh:** Junior cries when he doesn't get what he wants, so get those earplugs ready!

**Zuko:** Mushi once sat down on a bench on one end and the other end lifted the atmosphere five feet up!

**Iroh:** Junior whines if his pacifier gets too cold!

**Zuko:** Mushi started going bald at age 12!

**Iroh:** When Junior dropped a glass and broke it, he tried to beat up the floor!

**Zuko:** Mushi doesn't know the difference between "tea" and "coffee!"

**Iroh:** _(gasp)_ You take that back!

-

[A/N: Well, that was another installment. Thanks for the reviews. Now I know I'm actually entertaining someone and not just myself...


	3. Chapter 3

_Original disclaimer posted on Chapter One..._

_-_

**_Book 1, Chapter 4: The Warriors of Kyoshi :: Aang Tries to Impress Katara With the Air Marbles_**

**Aang:** Momo, marbles please.

_(Momo finds and gives the marbles to Aang.)_

**Aang:** Hey Katara! Check out this airbending trick!

_(Aang does the trick; the marbles spin rapidly in a circle in between his hands.)_

**Katara:** _(absentmindedly)_ That's great, Aang.

**Aang:** _(crushed)_ You didn't even look.

**Katara:** That's great!

**Aang:** But I'm not doing it now.

**Katara:** Okay.

**Aang:** _(convincingly)_ Katara! Look out! There's a wolfbat on your head!

**Katara:** Sounds good. _(continues sewing)_

**Aang:** HEY KATARA!!

**Katara:** Okay.

**Aang:** So... I can say _anything_ I want and you won't even listen, will you?

**Katara:** That's nice.

**Aang:** Wow, this will be fun.

**Katara:** Okay.

**Aang:** Katara, you look awfully fat in that coat.

**Katara:** That's great.

**Aang:** Katara's a moron... and likes it!

**Katara:** _(sewing)_

**Aang:** Katara is the worst waterbender ever!

**Katara:** _(still sewing)_

**Aang:** Katara eats twice her weight every day!

**Katara:** _(still sewing)_

**Aang:** Hey, your hair looks like a honey bun with two onion rings attached to it. Gross, it even smells like it, too!

**Katara:** _(stops sewing, looks monstrous)_ You did **NOT** just talk about my hair...

**_Book 1, Chapter 3: The Southern Air Temple :: Iroh Gets A Little Too Startled As Zuko and Zhao Discuss About His Search For the Avatar_**

**Zhao:** And by year's end, the Earth Kingdom capital will be under our rule. The Fire Lord will finally claim victory in this war.

**Zuko:** If my father thinks the rest of the world will follow him willingly, then he is a fool.

**Zhao:** Two years at sea have done little to temper your tongue. So, how is your search for the Avatar going?

**Iroh:** _(tips over the stand of weapons he has been examining . There is a huge mess)__(embarrassed)_ My fault entirely.

**Zuko:** We haven't found him yet.

**Zhao:** Did you really expect to? The Avatar died a hundred years ago--along with the rest of the airbenders.

**Iroh:** _(stumbles and falls towards the war map, thus tearing it down to the ground) _Oops!

**Zhao:** _(furious)_ Anyway, it would be impossible to find the Avatar... unless you found some evidence that the Avatar is alive.

**Iroh:** _(trips over his own foot and accidentally kicks over the tea stand, spilling all of the tea)_ My bad!

**Zuko:** No. Nothing.

**Iroh:** _(twitches and punches Zhao in the stomach)_ Oops!

**Zhao:** _(in pain)_ What the hell is wrong with you, Iroh!

**Zuko:** I haven't _found_ anything. It's like you said. The Avatar probably died a long time ago.

**Iroh:** _(unintentionally starts beating up Zhao)_

**Zhao:** What the fu_-(gets punched in the face)_ Stop it, you assh-_(gets punched numerous times in the gut and passes out) _

_**Book 1, Chapter 6: Imprisoned :: Katara and Haru's Father, Kyro, Discuss the Escape Plan**_

**Prisoner**: Tyro, the prisoners are complaining there aren't enough blankets to go around.

**Tyro**: I'll talk to the guards. In the meantime, make sure the elderly are taken care of. The rest of us will simply have to hope for warmer weather.

**Katara**: If you don't mind me asking, what's your escape plan?

**Tyro**: Excuse me?

**Katara**: You know, the plan to get everyone off the rig? What is it? Mutiny? Sabotage?

**Tyro:** Excuse me?

**Katara:** How are you going to escape this horrid place? Stealth? Resistance forces?

**Tyro:** Excuse me?

**Katara:** Uh... I don't know how to make it clearer than that.

**Tyro:** Sorry. Oh, we need help thinking of an escape plan.

**Katara:** ...Are you serious? I just asked multiple times what the plan was.

**Tyro:** We are planning to use mutiny, sabotage, stealth, or even resistance forces, if it gets really desperate.

**Katara:** Uh...

**Tyro:** I don't know how to make it clearer than that...

**_Book 1, Chapter 12: The Storm :: Aang and Katara Need to Go to the Market to Get Some Food_**

**Aang**: Look at those clear skies, buddy! Should be some smooth flying.

**Katara**: Well, we better smoothly fly ourselves to a market, cause we're out of food.

**Sokka**: Guys, wait, this was in my dream, we shouldn't go to the market.

**Katara**: What happened in your dream?

**Sokka**: Food eats people! _(pause)_ And, Momo could talk. He said some very unkind things.

**Aang: **Sokka, stop messing around.

**Sokka:** I'm serious! It was so vivid.

**Katara:** I think you're just really hungry. We'll go get some food. Come on Momo!

**Momo:** _(goes to Sokka)_ Next time you talk about me negatively, I'll take off your head and roll it down a cave.

**_Book 1, Chapter 16: The Deserter :: Aang Begs Jeong Jeong to Teach Him How to Firebend_**

**Jeong Jeong**: Get out.

**Aang**: Master, I need to learn firebending.

**Jeong Jeong**: Only a fool seeks his own destruction.

**Aang**: I'm the Avatar. It's my destiny to...

**Jeong Jeong**: Destiny? What would a boy know of destiny? If a fish lives its whole life in this river, does he know the river's destiny? No! Only that it runs on and on out of his control! He may follow where it flows, but he cannot see the end. He cannot imagine the ocean

**Aang**: Unless he's explored it already...  
**Jeong Jeong**: To master the bending disciplines, you must first master discipline itself.

**Aang:** ... Doesn't fire teach discipline?

**Jeong Jeong:** But you have no interest in this, so I have no interest in you! Now, get out.

**Aang**: Maybe you should teach me how to firebend before I force a tornado to touchdown on your head.

**Jeong Jeong**: Are you deaf!

**Aang:** I just responded to all of your rebutles! You're the one who's deaf.

**Jeong Jeong:** How can I teach you if you refuse to listen?

**Aang:** Okay, Jeong Jeong, you're starting to piss me off.

**Jeong Jeong:** Water is cool and soothing, earth is steady and stable, but fire, fire is alive! It breathes, it grows, without a bender, a rock will not throw itself! But fire will spread and destroy everything in its path if one does not have the will to control it! That is its destiny! You are not ready! You are too weak!

**Aang:** Yo mamma weak...

**Jeong Jeong:** What?!

**Aang:** Yo mamma's so fat that the great wall of Ba Sing Se uses her for shade!

**Jeong Jeong:** Yo mamma's so fat that she takes a step from island to island to get to the landmass of the fire nation!

**Aang:** Yo mamma's so ugly that Ozai made her the fire lord just so the shadow would cover _her_ face up!

**Jeong Jeong:** Yo mamma's so fat that she had mistaken the Southern Air Temple as an ice cream cone!

**Aang:** Yo mamma's so fat that she took the Northern Water Tribe as an ice cube!

**Jeong Jeong:** Yo mamma's so stupid that she thought Earth, Wind, and Fire was a musical group!

**Aang:** Yo ma-- wait a minute...

-

[A/N: Ha ha, I was on a roll on the last sketch...


	4. The Retaliation Chapter

_Original Disclaimer is posted on Chapter One..._

_Finally! After two months, I have finally found the time to come up with some quick changes. Read em and enjoy._

**-**

**_Book 3, Chapter 3: Sokka's Master :: Master Piandao explains the use of a sword to Sokka_**

**Piandao**: The first thing you must learn is that your weapon is an extension of yourself. You must think of it as another part of your own body.

**Sokka**: Like a second head?

**Piandao**: Well, more like an extra-long, really sharp arm.

**Sokka:** Like an oversized knife!

**Piandao:** Nah, more of a really sharp machete.

**Sokka:** Or blade.

**Piandao:** Respectively, more of a piece of straight metal.

**Sokka:** I'm thinking cutlass...

**Piandao:** Exaggeratingly, a broadsword, minus the curved structure.

**_Book 3, Chapter 2: The Headband :: Sokka States the Importance of Being Around Enemy Surroundings_**

**Aang:** I think I see a cave below.  
**Sokka:** _(to Katara)_Great job with the cloud cammo, but next time, let's disguise ourselves as the kind of cloud who knows how to keep its mouth shut.  
**Toph:** _(sarcastically)_ Yeah, we wouldn't want a bird to hear us chatting up there and turn us in.

**Sokka:** Hey! We're in _enemy_ territory. Those are _enemy_ birds.

**Aang:** _(points to a bush)_ So that's an enemy bush?

**Sokka:** Yeah.

**Aang:** What if the seeds came from the Earth Kingdom and was planted here?

**Sokka:** It couldn't grow without fire nation sunlight and water.

**Aang:** But the seed is the birth of life, hence the earth kingdom.

**Sokka:** Yeah, but if a seed isn't necessitated with its proper ingredients, it doesn't grow and develop into a commendable and satisfying bush for viewing pleasure.

**Aang:** But if the seed is planted into Earth soil, hence the "Earth" kingdom, hence hence, then it is destined to follow the umpresumptuous fate that will assist and aid the seed to originate and vegitate.

**Sokka:** Development and augmentation is a necessity that depends on the worth and quality of its host, thus the fire nation.

**Aang:** Though there would be no augmentation unitation sinceritination/protection activity, such as photosynthesis, to take action if it weren't for the seed's fanfaric arrival from the Earth Kingdom, speaking from a hypothetical, metaphoric, and figurative point of speech.

**Sokka:** It is just a seed in the making, my vernal and youthful one, just a seed in the making...

**Aang:** _(shaking head)_ Man, that's some tight psychological shit right there, man.

**_Book 2, Chapter 5: Zuko Alone :: A Soldier, Gow, is "Violated" And Questions Zuko at a Small Market_**

**Zuko**: Could I get some water, a bag of feed, and something hot to eat?

**Merchant**: Not enough here for a hot meal. I can get you two bags of feed.

_(A squad of soldiers are gambling near a business stall behind him. Suddenly, a group of kids appear and throw an egg at one soldier named Gow.)_

**Gow**: Hey! _(he and his friends ravage towards Zuko)_ You throwing eggs at us, stranger?

**Zuko**: No.

**Gow**: You see who did throw it?

**Zuko**: _(turning around)_ No.

**Soldier**: That's your favorite word? "No?"

**Gow**: Egg had to come from somewhere.

**Zuko**: Maybe a chicken flew over.

_(Gow reluctantly ignores Zuko and resumes his activity, only to get hit on the back with another egg and face towards Zuko furiously_)

**Zuko:** Make that two chickens.

**Gow:** _(gets smashed in the face with another egg)_

**Zuko:** Must be migration season...

**_Book 3, Chapter 2: The Headband :: On Ji Talks to Aang About the "Dance" at Music Practice, Only to Be Interrupted by Her Boyfriend_**

**On Ji:** _(approaching him) _Oh, hi, Kuzon. I really liked that crazy dance you were doing.

**Aang:** Thanks, On Ji. I could show it to you again, if you'd like.

_(Hide, On Ji's boyfriend, approaches Aang violently, hearing the last remark)_

**Hide: **What'd you say, colony trash? You're gonna show her something?

**Aang:** Damn, I'm just 12! What idea do you have? I was gonna show her some dance movements!

**Hide: **Nobody shows my On Ji _anything_, _especially_ movements.

**Aang:** You mean the kind of movements I showed _your mom_ last night?

_(The crowd surrounding them uproars with "oh's")_

**Hide: **What the _hell_ did you just say...

**_Book 3, Chapter 1: The Awakening :: Mai And Zuko Have A Picnic at Sunset_**

**Mai:** _(referring to the sunset) _Orange is such an awful color.  
**Zuko:**You're so beautiful when you hate the world.  
**Mai:** I don't hate you.  
**Zuko:** ... Excuse me?

**_Book 3, Chapter 3: Sokka's Master :: Katara, Aang, And Toph Try to Navigate the Town Without Sokka/ Katara Desperately Tries To Lighten Up_**

**Katara**: So where are we going next? _(points to a map) _We're starting from here.

**Aang**: No, we're over on this island.

**Toph**:You noodle-brains don't know what you're doing. I miss Sokka.

**Katara**: Oh, I got one. If you miss him so much, why don't you marry him!

**Toph:** Not yet. I'm not old enough.

_(Katara and Aang stare at Toph)_

_-_

A/N: Yes, I know, not the best chapter. But oh well, much more to come!


	5. Chapter 5

_Original disclaimer posted on Chapter One..._

_Dang, I just yo-yo'd my way back into FanFiction!_

_-_

_**Book 3, Chapter 9: Nightmares and Daydreams :: The Servants "Serve" Prince Zuko**_

**1st Servant: **Fresh fruit, Prince Zuko? _(Zuko declines)_

**2nd Servant:** May I wash your feet, Prince Zuko? _(Again, Zuko declines)_

**1st Servant:** How about a head massage, Prince Zuko? _(the prince does not accept)_

**2nd Servant:** Hot towel? _(Zuko does not accept)_

**1st Servant:** Bread?

**2nd Servant:** A hot meal?

**1st Servant:** A morning view?

**2nd Servant:** Peaceful music?

**1st Servant:** Me?!

**2nd Servant:** Him?!

**Both:** ANYTHING?!

**3rd Servant:** How bout a wittle wubber ducky?

**Zuko:** _(Zuko willingly accepts)_ Awesome, I've been looking for that!

**_Book 3, Chapter 9: Nightmares and Daydreams :: Aang Pays Fire Lord Ozai Another Visit_**

**Aang: **Your days of tyranny are over, Fire Lord! I'm bringing you down... and this time I brought pants.

**Ozai:** Aw man...

**Aang:** I also have this restraining order, so...

**Ozai:** Huh?

**Aang:** And, you are now on the updated Registered Sex Offender list...

**Ozai:** I think you're taking this too-

**Aang:** Oh, you're also on the Pedophile Watch on FamilyWatchDog . Org...

**_Book 3, Chapter 6: The Avatar and the Firelord :: Katara and Sokka See Aang Entering the Spirit World_**

**Katara:** Do they have bathrooms in the Spirit World?

**Sokka:** As a matter of fact, they do not. You know what, I should ask him before he leaves...

_(Sokka interrupts Aang's meditation)_

**Sokka:** Aang!

**Aang:** _(interrupted)_ What the fu- Oh, it's you, Sokka.

**Sokka:** How do you go to the bathroom in the Spirit World?

**Aang:** I don't know. Why don't you ask Mr. Owl?

_(Sokka approached Mr. Owl, who is sitting on a branch)_

**Sokka:** Mr. Owl, how does Aang go to the bathroom in the Spirit World?

**Mr. Owl:** Let's find out... 1, 2, 3..._** (CRUNCH)**_

**Sokka and Katara:** EW!!!!!!!!!!!

**_Book 3, Chapter 7: The Runaway :: Katara and Toph Engage in a Physical Fight_**

_(Katara and Toph are engaged in a fight)_

**Aang:** Okay! I'm ready for some training!

**Toph:** Good job, Twinkletoes. Visualize, then attack!

**Katara:** Maybe you should take your own advice, Toph!

**Toph:** _(bends a cloud of dirt into Katara)_ What's the matter? Can't handle dirt, Madame Fussy Britches?

**Katara:** _(plunges Toph with a wave)_ Oh sorry, did I splash you, mud slug?

**Aang:** _(anxiously watching the fight) Holy crap, this is hot..._

**Toph:** _(tackles Katara into a puddle of mud)_ Hungry for mud pie?

**Katara:** I'll give you a mud pie! _(Katara kicks mud onto Toph)_

**Aang:** Mud pit! Whoo!

**_Book 2, Chapter 9: Bitter Work :: Iroh Teaches Zuko How to Handle Lightning Currents_**

**Iroh:** There is energy all around us. The energy is both yin and yang: positive and negative energy. Only a select few firebenders seperate these energies. This creates an imbalance. The energy wants to restore balance and in a moment the positive and negative energy come crashing back together. You provide the release and guidance, creating lightning.

_(Iroh shoots lightning into a cliff face)_

**Zuko:** I'm ready to try it!

**Iroh:** Remember, once you separate the energy, you do not command it. You are simply its humble guide. Breathe first.

_(Zuko breathes in and attempts to shoot lightning, but it explodes right in front of his face, propelling down on the ground)_

**Zuko:** What happened?

**Iroh:** What the hell was_ that_? _(looks angrily confused)_ You SUCK!

**Zuko:** What?

**Iroh:** I've never seen anyone SUCK this badly.

**Zuko:** Huh?

**Iroh:** You SUCK so much that I wish I could tell your father what a piss-poor job you do at being a firebender. Wait, he probably knows that already!

**Zuko:** What?

**Iroh:** Damn, you're as deaf as much as you are clueless.

**Zuko:** What?

**Iroh:** I never noticed what a failure of a nephew I had.

**Zuko:** Huh?

**Iroh:** _(realizes Zuko is temporarily deaf)_ Oh, oops!

**Zuko:** Huh?

**Iroh:** Zuko! Don't worry! It's temporary!

**Zuko:** Ha! Ha! Just kidding. I heard everything you said. Ha!... Wait...

-

_A/N: These were the few I had in my mind! I hope I have some time to grill up some more Revisions._


End file.
